My Experience Cosleeping With Twins

When I was pregnant with twins, I had every intention of doing everything “the right way.” I pictured two babies sleeping peacefully in their bassinets beside our bed, waking only when they needed to eat before drifting back to sleep. Like most first-time parents, I imagined we’d have a plan, and we’d stick to it.

That picture disappeared almost as soon as we brought the babies home.

Those first few weeks are still a blur when I think back on them. I was recovering from birth, trying to figure out breastfeeding, learning two completely different little personalities, and functioning on almost no sleep. The days and nights blended together until I honestly couldn’t tell one from the other. We weren’t making carefully researched parenting decisions at two o’clock in the morning. We were simply doing whatever helped us survive another night.

Somewhere in those early days, I started sleeping with one baby while my husband slept with the other. I honestly can’t remember whose idea it was or whether we even talked about it. It just became what we did. Every night we’d switch babies so each twin had a turn sleeping beside me. At the time, it felt like a fair system, and because it was working well enough, I never stopped to wonder if there was another way.

Looking back, I realize how much energy we were putting into that routine. Every evening we’d decide who had which baby, settle everyone down, and repeat the entire process the next night. It became so normal that I stopped questioning it. It was simply our life.

Then, when the twins were around seven months old, something changed.

I remember lying in bed one night thinking, Why are we still doing this?

I don’t know what finally made me ask myself that question. Maybe I was tired of switching every single night. Maybe I wondered if we were making bedtime more complicated than it needed to be. Whatever it was, I decided to try something different.

That night, both babies slept with me.

I wasn’t expecting some life-changing moment. If anything, I thought it might be more difficult having both of them beside me. Two babies sounded like twice the opportunity for someone to wake up.

Instead, the opposite happened.

The babies settled more quickly. I wasn’t getting fully out of bed every time one of them stirred. They seemed calmer, I felt calmer, and somehow the entire night felt easier. The next morning I woke up and realized we’d all slept better than we had in months.

Not just me. Not just the babies. All four of us.

I remember thinking, Why didn’t we do this sooner?

That isn’t to say every night suddenly became perfect. We still went through teething, sleep regressions, illnesses, and all the other things that come with raising babies. There were nights when no one seemed interested in sleeping, and mornings that started far earlier than I would have liked.

But something had shifted.

Bedtime stopped feeling like a battle. Overnight wake-ups became less overwhelming. We finally found a rhythm that worked for our family, and for the first time since becoming parents, it felt like we weren’t just surviving each night.

Fast forward to today, and my twins are 20 months old.

We’re still cosleeping.

People ask me all the time when we’re going to move them into their own beds, and the truth is that we haven’t felt rushed. One day they’ll want their own space. One day they’ll probably ask for their own rooms and tell me they don’t need me to tuck them in anymore.

I know that day is coming.

But it isn’t today.

Looking back, cosleeping became one of those parts of motherhood that I never planned for but can’t imagine our first two years without. It wasn’t something I expected to do, and it certainly wasn’t something I had mapped out before the twins were born. Like so many parts of parenting, it happened gradually as we figured out what worked for our family.

If becoming a twin mom has taught me anything, it’s that real life rarely follows the picture you create in your head while you’re pregnant. Plans change. Expectations change. Sometimes the things you swore you’d never do become part of your family’s story.

This was one of those things for us.

A Personal Note About Safe Sleep

This article shares my personal experience as a mom of twins. It isn’t intended as a recommendation to bed share or as a substitute for current safe sleep guidance.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that infants sleep on their backs on their own firm, flat sleep surface without loose bedding and recommends against bed sharing with infants because of the increased risk of sleep-related infant death.

If you’re deciding where or how your babies will sleep, talk with your pediatrician about your family’s individual circumstances and current safe sleep recommendations.

For a full discussion of the guidelines, read Sleeping Arrangements for Twins: Bed Sharing, Room Sharing, and Safe Sleep.

References

• American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). Sleep-Related Infant Deaths: Updated 2022 Recommendations for Reducing Infant Deaths in the Sleep Environment.

• HealthyChildren.org, American Academy of Pediatrics. How to Keep Your Sleeping Baby Safe: AAP Policy Explained.

• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Helping Babies Sleep Safely.

Medical Disclaimer This article shares my personal experience as a twin mom and is provided for educational and informational purposes only. It should not be interpreted as medical advice or as a recommendation to bed share.

Always discuss your babies’ sleep environment and safe sleep practices with your pediatrician or another qualified healthcare professional. Current safe sleep recommendations should be considered when deciding where and how your babies sleep, particularly during infancy.