Questions to Ask Your NICU Team: A Guide for Parents of Twins

Having twins in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) can feel like stepping into an entirely new world. Every day brings new medical terms, new faces, and new information about your babies' progress.

It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed.

One of the best ways to become an active participant in your twins' care is by asking questions. Your NICU team wants you to understand what's happening and feel comfortable speaking up whenever something isn't clear.

You don't need to ask every question in this guide. Instead, think of it as a resource you can return to throughout your NICU journey. Some questions may be helpful during your first visit, while others become more important as your babies prepare to go home.

💙 Twin Parent Tip

Keep a small notebook or use the notes app on your phone to write down questions as they come to mind. It's easy to forget them during rounds or while processing everything happening around you.

There Are No "Bad" Questions

Many parents worry they're bothering the nurses or doctors by asking too many questions.

You're not.

NICU healthcare professionals expect parents to have questions. They know you're learning an entirely new language while navigating one of the most emotional experiences of your life.

If you don't understand something, ask.

If you need someone to explain it differently, ask again.

If you forget the answer tomorrow, it's okay to ask again.

Your babies' healthcare team would much rather answer your questions than have you leave feeling confused or worried.

When Is the Best Time to Ask Questions?

There isn't one perfect time, but there are several opportunities throughout the day when conversations naturally happen.

You might ask questions:

• During daily rounds

• While your nurse is providing routine care

• After your babies have been examined

• During family meetings with the medical team

• Before leaving for the day

If your nurse is responding to an emergency or actively caring for another baby, they may ask you to wait a few minutes. That doesn't mean your questions aren't important. It simply means they're prioritizing urgent patient care first.

Write Down the Answers

The NICU can be emotionally exhausting.

Many parents are surprised by how difficult it is to remember everything they're told.

Consider keeping track of:

• Your babies' daily weight

• Feeding amounts

• Medication changes

• Questions for tomorrow

• New medical terms

• Upcoming tests

• Milestones you've celebrated

Having notes can help you recognize your babies' progress over time and make conversations with the healthcare team much easier.

Daily Questions to Ask Your NICU Team

Each day in the NICU is a little different.

Some days bring exciting milestones, while other days focus on steady progress. Starting each visit with a few simple questions can help you understand how your twins are doing and what the team is working toward.

Helpful questions include:

• How are my babies doing today?

• What changed since yesterday?

• What is today's biggest goal for each baby?

• Is there anything you're watching closely today?

• Is there anything I can help with during today's visit?

• Are there any concerns I should know about?

Questions About Breathing Support

Many premature twins need temporary breathing support while their lungs continue developing.

Whether your babies are receiving oxygen, CPAP, or another form of respiratory support, understanding the plan can help you feel more confident.

You might ask:

• What type of breathing support is each baby receiving?

• What does this machine do?

• Are they making progress?

• What needs to happen before we can decrease the breathing support?

• What do the monitor alarms usually mean?

• What changes are you hoping to see over the next few days?

• How will we know they're ready for less support?

Questions About Feeding

Learning to feed is one of the biggest milestones before going home.

Many premature babies receive tube feedings before they're ready to breastfeed or bottle-feed. As feeding skills improve, your healthcare team will gradually help your babies transition to oral feedings.

Helpful questions include:

• How is feeding going today?

• Are my babies receiving tube feedings, bottle feedings, breastfeeding, or a combination?

• How much milk are they getting?

• Are they showing feeding readiness?

• What feeding milestone are we working toward next?

• Can I participate in today's feeding?

• What can I do to help support feeding progress?

Questions About Growth and Development

The NICU team closely monitors much more than your babies' weight. Every day, they're evaluating growth, development, temperature regulation, and other milestones that help determine when your twins are ready for the next stage of care.

Asking about these milestones can help you understand how your babies are progressing, even if the changes feel small from day to day.

Helpful questions include:

• Are my babies gaining weight as expected?

• How often are they being weighed?

• Are there any concerns about their growth?

• Are they maintaining their body temperature on their own?

• What developmental milestones are we watching for right now?

• Are they receiving physical, occupational, or speech therapy?

• How are they progressing compared to what you'd expect for their gestational age?

Questions About Tests and Medications

NICU babies often have blood work, imaging studies, medications, or other treatments throughout their stay. While these are routine, it can be reassuring to understand why they're being done.

Don't hesitate to ask for explanations in everyday language if something isn't clear.

Helpful questions include:

• What medications are my babies receiving?

• Why does each medication matter?

• Are there any side effects I should know about?

• Are any blood tests or procedures planned today?

• What are you monitoring with these tests?

• When will the results be available?

• Who will explain the results to us?

• Has anything changed in their treatment plan?

Questions About Going Home

Although discharge may feel far away during the early days of a NICU stay, it's never too early to understand what milestones your babies need to reach before going home.

Knowing the goals can help you celebrate progress along the way.

Helpful questions include:

• What are this week's goals?

• What milestones are my babies working toward?

• What still needs to happen before discharge?

• Will both babies likely go home at the same time?

• What happens if one twin is ready before the other?

• What skills do we need to learn before discharge?

• Will we need any equipment at home?

• What follow-up appointments should we expect?

Twin-Specific Questions

Twins don't always follow the same path through the NICU.

Even identical twins can have different medical needs, different personalities, and different timelines for reaching milestones. It can be difficult to watch one twin progress more quickly than the other, but this is often completely normal.

Questions that may be especially helpful include:

• One twin seems to be progressing faster. Is that expected?

• Are they following separate care plans?

• Why are they receiving different treatments?

• Could one twin go home before the other?

• How will you decide when each baby is ready for discharge?

• How can we support each baby's individual needs while they're both in the NICU?

• Will they continue seeing the same specialists after discharge?

Questions About You as a Parent

The NICU team isn't only caring for your babies. They're also there to support you.

If you're unsure how to become more involved, simply ask. Parents are encouraged to participate in their babies' care whenever it's safe to do so.

Helpful questions include:

• What can I do during today's visit?

• Can I help with diaper changes or baths?

• When can I provide skin-to-skin care?

• Can I participate in feedings?

• Are there resources available for NICU parents?

• Is there a social worker I can speak with?

• What support groups are available for parents of twins?

• Who should I contact if I have questions after I leave for the day?

Remember

You are an important member of your babies' healthcare team.

No one expects you to understand every monitor, medication, or medical term overnight. The NICU can feel overwhelming at first, but every question you ask helps you become a more informed advocate for your twins.

It's okay to ask for updates.

It's okay to ask someone to repeat themselves.

And it's okay to ask the same question more than once.

Every conversation helps you better understand your babies' journey.

My RN & Twin Mom Perspective

As a registered nurse, I've learned that some of the best healthcare happens when families and medical teams work together. Parents know their babies in a unique way, and your observations and questions matter.

If your twins are in the NICU, don't ever feel like you're "bothering" the staff by asking for an explanation or requesting an update. Healthcare providers understand that you're processing an enormous amount of information during an emotional time.

You don't need to become a medical expert overnight. Simply staying informed and asking thoughtful questions makes you an important advocate for your babies.

🗣️ SLP Perspective from Dr. Judy

Parents often focus on when their babies will start bottle feeding or breastfeeding, but feeding is actually a gradual developmental process.

Don't be afraid to ask your baby's care team questions like:

• Is my baby showing feeding readiness?

• What feeding skill are we working on right now?

• What can I do to support oral feeding?

• When might breastfeeding or bottle feeding begin?

Understanding the feeding plan can help parents feel more involved and celebrate the small milestones that lead to successful feeding after discharge.

Frequently Asked Questions

What if I forget to ask something during my visit?

Write it down and ask during your next visit or call the NICU if it's an important question. Many parents keep a notebook or notes app specifically for NICU questions.

Is it okay to ask the same question more than once?

Absolutely. The NICU is a stressful environment, and it's normal to need information repeated. Your healthcare team wants you to understand your babies' care.

Should I attend daily rounds?

If your NICU allows parents to participate in rounds, it can be a great opportunity to hear updates, ask questions, and better understand your babies' care plan.

Can each twin have a different care plan?

Yes. Even twins often have different medical needs, feeding progress, and discharge timelines. Each baby is treated as an individual.

What if I don't understand a medical term?

Ask your healthcare team to explain it in plain language. You can also bookmark our NICU Terms Every Twin Parent Should Know guide for easy reference.

Related Guides

• Preparing for a Twin NICU Stay

• Your First NICU Visit

• NICU Terms Every Twin Parent Should Know

• Corrected Age vs. Actual Age

• Bringing Twins Home from the NICU

References

American Academy of Pediatrics. HealthyChildren.org.

March of Dimes. Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).

National Institute of Child Health and Human Development.

MedlinePlus. Neonatal Intensive Care.

Medical Disclaimer

This content is for educational and informational purposes only and should not replace medical advice. Every baby is unique, and every NICU journey is different. Always discuss your twins' specific condition, treatment plan, and care with your neonatologist and NICU healthcare team.